Being honest with your kids

I was talking with my older son's preschool teacher about how much she enjoys coming to work each day. (Wonderful to hear, of course!) What was interesting is that she said a lot of parents tell their kids that they wish they didn't have to go to work. I suspect they say this not because that's really how they feel (well, of course we might all like to be independently wealthy, but you know what I mean) but because they don't want their children to think they are choosing work over them. I recall reading somewhere - and I can't remember where - that this is actually highly inappropriate for a number of reasons.

First, it makes kids think that work is something bad, to be avoided whenever possible. Second, it makes kids think that the choice is work vs. being with them, when it's really a much more complex series of trade-offs. Third, it denies them the opportunity to understand that we are not only parents but that we have other interests, too. Frankly, I like my "day job" and I want my kids to understand that I do it because I like it and think it's a valuable contribution, and, as my son's teacher pointed out, it allows me to do more for my kids in other ways. Yes, it's a choice we've made as a family rather than a necessity. Finally, though a three-year-old isn't ready to hear that sometimes we need a little bit of time away to maintain our sanity, I still don't think it's appropriate to lie. Some days I wish I didn't need to leave my kid at just that moment, but it's not because work is so terrible.